Category — Women’sAnger
Movie review: Diary of a Tired Black Man
Checking new comments on my site regarding my latest blog entitled
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“Why the “angry black woman” is angry,”
I received a response from the writer, producer, director, Ted Alexander. His movie, “Diary of a Tired Black Man,” was the subject of the blog. His response was welcome, of course, but his subsequent explanation of what the film was about are worth sharing, particularly with women who may have occasion to watch it.
I am including his response and my reply in their entirety here. After you read my blog, I would like to know if my take on the movie and his response represent two different trains of thought between what was portrayed and what he intended.
If the movie was only about the problem of the main character’s wife, what was the necessity of all the interviews about black women and the conclusion he seemed to draw regarding the “Angry Black Woman Syndrome? Is he suggesting that all black women are born angry and are angry for no “obvious” reason? How did her individual problems become the same problems for the entire group? If black women are different from other women, why were the women of other ethnic groups in the movie angry? Why is infidelity a “non-issue” when it comes to any woman being angry? Why, in general, do men think that infidelity is a “non-issue?”
I’d like to hear anyone’s take on this, regardless of ethnicity or gender. Anger is a serious problem which affects many relationships. I am grateful to Mr. Alexander for making this movie, because it provides a vehicle to openly discuss the subject of anger in women, its cause, its expression, and the results.
Mr. Alexander’s response:
You so missed the point of this film. By a country mile. He was not a cheater, so what was her problem? Her issues started from childhood long before they met. Watch it again. All of those people are not wrong. Anybody is upset if someone cheats – even MEN! Women cheat too. That is not the point. Anger for an obvious reason is obvious. I am talking about unprovoked internal anger issues… Not an obvious and valid reason to be angry like cheating. You don’t get it. Watch it again. And all men do not cheat, as James did not. But many women do. Non-issue in this film.
My rebuttal response:
Dear Tim, thank you for responding to my article, but I did get the film as it was presented, although the explanation in your comment leaves some questions as to it(s) motives. In your response you say that a black woman’s anger stems from “unprovoked internal anger issues” rather than “obvious external” reasons, but all of the reasons which were given in the film were obvious and declared by the interviewees. They were used to explain and give reasons for black women to be angry…all except infidelity which is, of course, an “obvious external” reason, and a very crucial one.
This is why I was somewhat disappointed that the question of infidelity by either partner was not addressed in a realistic way. Particularly unfaithfulness by the male as that is a very prominent situation that too many women find themselves in with their mates.
I applaud the fact that James, the main character, had enough character to not fall into temptation, but was instead a “good” man. It was his wife who indeed had the problem, but to suggest that the anger of all black women is primarily internal is a bias stereotype of the worst kind. Just as saying that all men are dogs or all black men are innately violent.
I imagine it might have been rather difficult to include infidelity in James’ role, as he was not the protagonist, but the way the movie was played out seemed to suggest that although men have very many rules for women and reasons why we’re angry, one of the primary reasons important to women was downplayed and dismissed as comical. And that external reason obviously made me angry.
July 4, 2010 229 Comments