Category — success

As experiences come into your life, you begin to recognize how one situation compares and relates to another. For example, my recent bout with the side effects of a treatment meant to improve and protect my bones from the ravages of bone cancer and osteoporosis triggered the thought of how the side effects of integration have affected the lives and lifestyle of socioeconomically disadvantaged blacks in America.

The once a month infusion treatment, or intravenous injection, was supposed to alleviate the pain and prevent further disintegration or breaking of my bones. I suffered great side effects of chills and aching the first time the drug was administered, but when the injection time was increased, those particular side effects decreased. The treatment continued month after month, but I began to notice I was having difficulty breathing.

It began with the feeling of excess fluid and a rattling breath sound. The problem impeded my ability to perform any physical activity, walking, cleaning, showering, having sex, etc. All effort was labored and distressful. My doctors ordered x-rays, scans, and echo-grams to try to find out what was causing the “pleural effusion” I was suffering; but to no avail. The situation kept getting worse.

Along with complaining, I began to do research into the side effects of the many drugs and supplements I am taking for my various ailments which include Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, anemia, breast cancer, bone cancer, osteoporosis, and kidney disease. Some of the medications mentioned difficulty in breathing, but the doctors seemed to ignore that as a cause. Since the infusion was the latest treatment, to me it became the most suspicious.

As a required precaution, prior to receiving the treatment, a blood test to see if the creatinine level in my kidneys is low is taken as the medication negatively affects the kidneys. For the past three months, my tests have come back with the level too high because the tumor in my cancerous breast erupted and caused bleeding. The loss of blood caused the kidneys to be drier, causing the creatinine level to go higher, which negated my infusion treatment. So while my body has been healing from the tumor eruption, it has also been withdrawing from the side effects of the infusion, which has allowed my breathing to return to normal. I am regaining my strength and ability to function as before. Thank God!

When I awoke this morning the correlation of experiencing side effects from a medical treatment fit into the framework of the black Underclass in America experiencing the side effects of integration.

For many blacks, successful assimilation became a reality. However, according to Bill Cosby, beloved TV father and celebrity, the “lower economic people” or black Underclass, are “knuckleheads walking around…not holding up their end.” To Mr. Cosby, the Underclass has not gotten with the program of living in an American, integrated society and their inability to appropriately function has become very obvious.

In recent statements, Mr. Cosby, has spoken on their lack of language skills, their poor parenting, their spending habits, their dress, their lifestyle, their reflection of ethnicity, even the naming of their children. We all recognize him as a very funny comedian, but what has and is happening to our people is no joke.

Integration was a wonderful concept from a basic human standpoint. All people should be allowed the freedom of their “inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” and the U.S. prides itself in that ideal. But along with the powerlessness to pursue the better things in life, there were many blacks who were unable to escape their environment even after the opportunity was presented due to a lack of money and education, or simply because they wished to remain in the comfort zone of their surroundings.

The side effects of such great change in their surroundings became most severe when nearly all of the educated, prominent, role models moved from the black neighborhoods to white suburbs and left the less fortunate behind. The ones left were forced to continue surviving as best they could without direction and the leadership and guidance that had always been available. The motivators and mentors disappeared, leaving only folks of basically the same status. So the vulnerable ethnic group developed their own ways of life and became a culture (Underclass) within a culture (black) within a culture (white or American). The culture of the black Underclass includes a language and moral code which often seems harsh and even barbaric to those from the outside.

But the resourceful group has now increased in such numbers and have gained the attention of outsiders through the widespread popularity of rap and hip hop music, clothing and hair styles, piercing and tattoos, etc. Those who are thriving with conventional lifestyles are taking notice. Particularly as another side effect of integration has been the adoption by mainstream youth of many of the Underclass habits and social standards; including the use of the “N” word.

The further side effects of the full acceptance and incorporation of the black Underclass language, dress, and customs, has made some middle- and upper-class blacks, like Mr. Cosby, criticize and denigrate them in order to try to set them apart. But it can’t be done. Just as I can’t separate my breathing from what is happening to my bones, all descendants of slaves are segments of the whole, parts of the body. It is our legacy. All we can hope for is to find ways to alleviate the side effects which are affecting us.

If Mr. Cosby really wants to help, rather than rant to his peers; he should go to people who would benefit the most from hearing what he has to say. Speak to them and I believe they will listen. He should tell them about his own side effects and challenges. As a matter of fact, the black Underclass has been waiting for someone who made it out and overcame the struggle to come back and give them some honest relief. After all, isn’t that what all those suffering from side effects really want and need?

For the last 18-plus years since I have been trying to bring my dolls and books to market, there have been many occasions when I’ve felt like throwing in the towel and giving up, and I often wondered why I hadn’t.

I have signed three contracts and seen many people come and go who have become enthused and excited about my project, but who have faded away over time. I have even had people whom I have asked for advice and direction, and some who would have loved to see me fail, suggest that I should give up and try something else… but still I held on. Something always pulled me back whenever I got too close to the precipice of throwing in the towel. 

In time I came to see that it was not because I needed to do what I was trying to do. I’m retired, I have a nice apartment; good friends; and a loving family. It was not because I am a materialistic person, I can buy whatever I desire and come and go as I please. Sure I could use more money, who couldn’t, but money was not motivating me to keep going either. Like Martin Luther King, Jr., what was holding me hostage was the realization that I had a dream. 

My dream was and is to help my family; help other people who like me have a dream; and help parents and their children. The desire to help has been so strong it keeps pushing and pulling, carrying me along through all the disappointments, deterrents and detours I’ve had to overcome and endure. Throwing in the towel was not an option, and if nothing else, I’ve learned to be patient and to believe that “delay does not mean denial.” 

Now I have published my first children’s book, The First Trip, and have the first character doll, Bubba Oodle, ready for market and I know the thrill of achievement. But the greatest lesson learned has been the establishment of faith in my ability to successfully accomplish whatever I say I can. 

So to any entrepreneur who needs to hear it, don’t throw in the towel just yet. There could be something greater than you ever imagined waiting to be realized.

As an entrepreneur, how do you measure success? Is it measured by the amount of money you’re able to generate? Is it the ability to duplicate your idea or get the greatest acclaim? Can it be your staying power in the marketplace or your brand building? I believe there are as many different ways of measurement as there are entrepreneurs, and success is an individual determination. 

For me, having dabbled in the game of self-generated income, I am reconsidering my idea of success, as my current situation is causing me to feel some conflict. Although I have had the ability to be self-supportive from revenues garnered from my gifts and talents through the years, I have not been able to sustain nor excel to the point of what others may think is success for too long. 

Many ideas, time and effort have come and gone. My interest was piqued for while, but eventually waned and I moved on to something else. Nevertheless the time I’d spent and the pleasure derived from my performance of the activity was thought of by me as positive measures of my success. 

When I published my first book after waiting 18 years for the pleasure, the congratulations and love shown me by my family, friends and business associates made me feel on top of the world. Before I sold one copy, I felt like a success. I had accomplished a great part of my mission. But the work to sell the book is ongoing and difficult, and sells have slowed. Do I measure my success, not in selling books, but in having a book to sell? 

The conflict I am having is in trying to gather the same level of enthusiasm and excitement into marketing my product as I had in getting it made. I am in a new arena and a new game in which the measure of success is different. I am wondering if making money is the most concrete, important evidence of a successful entrepreneur. 

Some of the elements of entrepreneurship I’ve decided to consider are: how willing am I to risk being a failure? Am I learning things of importance as I go? How much more do I know about business or life? How much personal growth can I claim? Have my values changed, or do I view my products or customers or my responsibility to my customers in a different light? Is my attitude or my level of patience or consistency to my expression of quality the same? Do I feel that I am doing and being the best that I can be at what I do? 

For me and others struggling with our definition of success or feeling disappointed in not being what and where we think we should be, perhaps we should consider using another yardstick of measurement. I’d like to read any comments on the subject you care to share.