Category — RestoreChildhoodProject

As experiences come into your life, you begin to recognize how one situation compares and relates to another. For example, my recent bout with the side effects of a treatment meant to improve and protect my bones from the ravages of bone cancer and osteoporosis triggered the thought of how the side effects of integration have affected the lives and lifestyle of socioeconomically disadvantaged blacks in America.

The once a month infusion treatment, or intravenous injection, was supposed to alleviate the pain and prevent further disintegration or breaking of my bones. I suffered great side effects of chills and aching the first time the drug was administered, but when the injection time was increased, those particular side effects decreased. The treatment continued month after month, but I began to notice I was having difficulty breathing.

It began with the feeling of excess fluid and a rattling breath sound. The problem impeded my ability to perform any physical activity, walking, cleaning, showering, having sex, etc. All effort was labored and distressful. My doctors ordered x-rays, scans, and echo-grams to try to find out what was causing the “pleural effusion” I was suffering; but to no avail. The situation kept getting worse.

Along with complaining, I began to do research into the side effects of the many drugs and supplements I am taking for my various ailments which include Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, anemia, breast cancer, bone cancer, osteoporosis, and kidney disease. Some of the medications mentioned difficulty in breathing, but the doctors seemed to ignore that as a cause. Since the infusion was the latest treatment, to me it became the most suspicious.

As a required precaution, prior to receiving the treatment, a blood test to see if the creatinine level in my kidneys is low is taken as the medication negatively affects the kidneys. For the past three months, my tests have come back with the level too high because the tumor in my cancerous breast erupted and caused bleeding. The loss of blood caused the kidneys to be drier, causing the creatinine level to go higher, which negated my infusion treatment. So while my body has been healing from the tumor eruption, it has also been withdrawing from the side effects of the infusion, which has allowed my breathing to return to normal. I am regaining my strength and ability to function as before. Thank God!

When I awoke this morning the correlation of experiencing side effects from a medical treatment fit into the framework of the black Underclass in America experiencing the side effects of integration.

For many blacks, successful assimilation became a reality. However, according to Bill Cosby, beloved TV father and celebrity, the “lower economic people” or black Underclass, are “knuckleheads walking around…not holding up their end.” To Mr. Cosby, the Underclass has not gotten with the program of living in an American, integrated society and their inability to appropriately function has become very obvious.

In recent statements, Mr. Cosby, has spoken on their lack of language skills, their poor parenting, their spending habits, their dress, their lifestyle, their reflection of ethnicity, even the naming of their children. We all recognize him as a very funny comedian, but what has and is happening to our people is no joke.

Integration was a wonderful concept from a basic human standpoint. All people should be allowed the freedom of their “inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” and the U.S. prides itself in that ideal. But along with the powerlessness to pursue the better things in life, there were many blacks who were unable to escape their environment even after the opportunity was presented due to a lack of money and education, or simply because they wished to remain in the comfort zone of their surroundings.

The side effects of such great change in their surroundings became most severe when nearly all of the educated, prominent, role models moved from the black neighborhoods to white suburbs and left the less fortunate behind. The ones left were forced to continue surviving as best they could without direction and the leadership and guidance that had always been available. The motivators and mentors disappeared, leaving only folks of basically the same status. So the vulnerable ethnic group developed their own ways of life and became a culture (Underclass) within a culture (black) within a culture (white or American). The culture of the black Underclass includes a language and moral code which often seems harsh and even barbaric to those from the outside.

But the resourceful group has now increased in such numbers and have gained the attention of outsiders through the widespread popularity of rap and hip hop music, clothing and hair styles, piercing and tattoos, etc. Those who are thriving with conventional lifestyles are taking notice. Particularly as another side effect of integration has been the adoption by mainstream youth of many of the Underclass habits and social standards; including the use of the “N” word.

The further side effects of the full acceptance and incorporation of the black Underclass language, dress, and customs, has made some middle- and upper-class blacks, like Mr. Cosby, criticize and denigrate them in order to try to set them apart. But it can’t be done. Just as I can’t separate my breathing from what is happening to my bones, all descendants of slaves are segments of the whole, parts of the body. It is our legacy. All we can hope for is to find ways to alleviate the side effects which are affecting us.

If Mr. Cosby really wants to help, rather than rant to his peers; he should go to people who would benefit the most from hearing what he has to say. Speak to them and I believe they will listen. He should tell them about his own side effects and challenges. As a matter of fact, the black Underclass has been waiting for someone who made it out and overcame the struggle to come back and give them some honest relief. After all, isn’t that what all those suffering from side effects really want and need?

When I awoke this morning, I had the words of my title in mind, but I was remembering an old Negro spiritual we used to sing in church. “How I got over. How I got over. My soul looks back and wonders, how I got over.” I remember my mother, grandmother and others singing it with gusto, thanking God for helping them to “make it through.” Then I typed in the words on YouTube, and found this song by The Roots, and it changed my whole attitude.

Rather than praise and worship, the words, music and images took my heart and mind into a totally different mood of distress, despair and disturbance. Tears began to flow, and my heart began to ache. For I remember, can almost smell and feel, the sensations of the people portrayed in the video; because it wasn’t too long ago that their plight was my own, and it hit too close to home.

I sit now, at my computer, with my heater going full blast in my cozy third-floor apartment overlooking a majestic oak tree, while the capitol building of the state of California is at the end of my block. There are limos, Lamborghini-es, and other luxury cars nightly pulling up to the restaurants, coffee houses and cafes that line my street.

Happy people sitting outside having lunch, dinner or just over coffee fill the air with their laughter and content. They smile and some even nod as I pass, thinking and accepting me as one of them, an equal. But I wonder what they would think about me if they knew that it wasn’t too long ago that I was homeless, living in a shelter with my two kids…friendless and alone? Would their looks be diverted away from me?

This is not the way I envisioned my day going when I woke up full of gratitude and rejoicing this morning. I had no intention of spending my morning revisiting an episode in my life that I seldom visit anymore. Not that I am trying to forget it, because I think it plays a significant part in my current sense of empathy. But today was not going to be one of those days when it would come back to me with such force, with a video as stark evidence that what happened then was real to me, just as now it’s very real to others.

But now that I think of it, both the rejoicing and the pain belong to me. I embrace them as value which has been added to my life. For without the pain there would be no joy. I would not know that it is possible to overcome and not be genuine in sharing that hopeful message with others. I would also not be able to serve as an example to those who think themselves above and beyond the possibilities of becoming like their less fortunate neighbors. It can happen to anyone.

There is a message for all of us in this, I think. For me, reminiscing keeps me grounded. For those who are struggling, I wish them God’s best. For those who are reading this, I hope it stirs something in you to reach out to even one in whatever way you can to those disenfranchised by the state of their birth or whatever life has thrown their way. A simple smile of encouragement will go a long way, and with just a little help one day those who are suffering won’t have to wonder how they got over, they will know.

Many times in our lives, occasion to be conflicted arise. I am experiencing one of those occasions, because of some of the methods proposed to be used in the push in America to reform our school system. Test scores have shown that many of our students are failing or barely holding on, and will be unable to compete with others in the global marketplace. Many young people have given up and settled for or given in to lives of idleness, dependence on government handouts, and/or criminal activity.

Students from every ethnic group are included, but my observation is focused on low income youth, particularly black or African-American. Being black myself draws my attention, but my concern is for all children, and how to address this problem is where my conflict lies.

Education reform extends all the way to the White House with President Obama being actively involved. Along with government, many very wealthy individuals, like Bill Gates, are contributing millions of dollars. Unfortunately, with all the funds being made available, many objectionable concepts of how to provide a “quality” education for our students is being tried and promoted, especially the idea of exclusionary charter schools.

Charter schools are not a new idea, having been used by many different organizations, such as religious groups, to promote their ideology as well as educate their members. This scary culturally controlled character seems to be what is also being offered presently by private organizations in order to obtain and maintain funding.

To insure that their students display the highest achievements, certain kids with disabilities, including learning, are being excluded and expelled by some charter schools. There are also schools which intend to segregate poor, black children from other children in order to change their “culture,” meaning their ways of wearing certain hair styles and clothing, for example. These types of selective schools are the ones which are causing me the most concern and conflict.

Since the civil rights movement in the 60s, we as a nation have fought, and some have died, to allow children of all ethnicities to attend school together in an integrated environment. Yet we know that even under the best circumstances racism still flourishes. Also, rampant bullying by all groups has recently flared which has caused the suicidal death of a number of children.

These conditions of separating children by ethnicity, social status, and physical or mental ability, which will set them apart from their peers, can only cause a backlash. Low self-esteem, further acting out, withdrawal, mistrust, anger, and possibly violence, both on the part of those students displaced and seemingly rejected, as well as the development of superior attitudes by those who are allowed to attend other schools can and will result.

My conflict is in wanting a “quality” education for black children, and disabled children, but not at the expense of their cultural identity, acceptance or sense of belonging. None of us wants to feel set apart. Regardless of our differences and/or abilities, we all want the to be loved and respected for our humanity, for the life that flows through us. How can taking children back to a way which we found wrong and wanting in the past be thought to be beneficial in the present? And how will the experience of separation and rejection affect these children in the future?

Since the beginning of man‘s history, humans have struggled with division and control of one group over the other. It has always ended in tragedy, and will continue to do so. Therefore, to solve a conflict, the decision must be made for the greater good, and not the most money.

To expect a different outcome from repeating a misjudgment is insane. So, now that the occasion to change direction in educating children has presented itself, there should be no conflict of how to guarantee that all our children get the best chance at a “quality” education. I believe that open enrollment in charter schools is a viable solution, as long as we alter our ways of doing and thinking, because going back is not a forward move.

In a recent article appearing in the Sacramento Bee, dated October 10, 2010, a proposal to remove black children from traditional integrated schools and place them in segregated charter schools has been suggested. This proposal has been made by a black person, Margaret Fortune, who has operated a similar school in Sacramento.

Ms. Fortune suggests that up to 5,000 black children, who are also considered low-income, and beginning with K thru 3rd graders, would benefit from receiving an education in a school set apart from their peers of the same age. To me, this is absurd as this nation has and continues to fight long and hard to diminish and extinguish the ugliness of segregation in all of its stigmatizing forms, in all systems of our society.

To consider returning to the dysfunctional method of segregation in our system of education is not only frightful but downright bizarre. Poor, black children already suffer from two strikes against them. To put them in a situation which sets them apart will not only affect their self-esteem, but may also cause them to suffer the pain of being stigmatized for not attending an integrated school with other children who are different from them.

A great part of one’s education, particularly as access to the global community is opening up to anyone who may chose to explore it, is to be socialized to understand, tolerate and accept the differences between us. How can that be accomplished when one begins their educational experience with only faces of one’s own kind? How can one perceive a different reflection of how the world is made up if one only sees one image, the same as oneself ?

I can understand the intent of providing a more intense educational experience for children, but the effort should be open to all children, not focused on any particular ethnic group. As for the children being low-income, there are low-income children in every ethnic group who need and require a quality education. For a black person to focus this attempt to obtain funding for charter schools by selling out black children is shameful.

If tax-payer money is used to fund charter schools, representative children from every group should be represented. Placing black children in segregated schools is a backward move and should not be considered as being in the best interest of those children.

http://www.sacbee.com/2010/10/10/3093039/former-st-hope-leader-begins-push.html

When I attended school in the southern part of the U.S. during the Jim Crow days of the mid 40s and 50s, my father placed me and my siblings in Catholic school. Although he and my mother were Baptists, he felt that we could and would get a better education at the hands of the nuns, rather than attend the segregated all-black public schools.

Whether or not that was true, the difference between our school and the others was the teachers. All of our students were black, but all of our teachers were white nuns. So not only did we get an education laced with religious instructions, although prayer was still a mainstay in the public schools, our social education was given from a totally different perspective oftentimes based on the racial differences of student and teacher.

I imagine the nuns felt it was their “Christian duty” to inspire confidence in us to counter the racism we faced day-to-day. Even to some of the protocol our parents insisted we show to the whites with which we came in contact, the nuns added stipulations. We were not to say “yes,” or “no, mam” to anyone who was not as old as our grandparents, including the nuns.

The nuns’ influence made an indelible impression on me, and probably my two sisters and brother also. So much so, that our father relocated the family to California for more than financial reasons. In great part, I expect, it was to protect us from the authority we had learned to defy.

I recently heard the statistics that 75% of teachers in the U.S. are white, and the schools have been integrated since the 60s. But there is something as sinister as segregation afoot in our school system. Many of our children are struggling, particularly in the area of social skills, and there are a number of things which have attributed to this situation.

For one, the banishment of prayer and along with it the teaching of good and bad. I too believe in religious privacy, but now children learn about actions and consequences, and everyone’s rights must be respected. It seems they are getting the message that if it feels right to them then they can do it, as long as they are willing to face the consequences. Our jails and prisons are filling up with criminals, many wealthy and famous, who acted on their feelings rather than whether what they were doing was right or wrong.

It seems to go back to the teachings of the nuns that we were supposed to respect our rights regardless of how others were disrespecting us. But somewhere in there was also the lesson that others had rights too, and it was wrong if we did not respect them.

With everyone seeming to go for themselves lately, along the way we, especially our children, have become lost. It seems that a return to treating others as we want to be treated is in order, but this concept can only be learned. Whether from our caregivers’ laps or in the classroom, social skills training and empathy for others is crucial for a civilized society. We must relearn the values that contribute to an appropriate way of life, and education is the key.

Here is a great video of children learning social skills rules in class. Thanks to the students and their teachers for this effort.

When did the desire to open your own business begin for you? Was it a decision you made out of necessity because you needed or wanted more freedom, money or control over your finances? Or was yours a life-long desire? In considering your answers, I’d like to introduce you to someone.

His name is Malcolm, he’s 9 years old and he is one of my grandsons. Malcolm, I believe will one day be a very successful entrepreneur. How do I know that? Because even now he is constantly looking for ways to “legally” make money. He often buys items at a low price and sells them to his friends for a little more. His mind also sees a transaction in many of his day-to-day activities, and his eyes light up when he discusses new strategies he is planning.

Does Malcolm remind you of yourself as a child? Did you dream of having your own business? Did the uniqueness of your business evolve over time or was the whole thing laid out before you in its near entirety? Was it easy to write your business plan, and was it a horrible struggle to complete it? Which part was the most comfortable to write and which was the most troublesome? Did you write a business plan? Did you ask yourself questions of “why” often, and could you answer them or find the answers?

One aspect of the plan for Malcolm, and perhaps it is due to his immaturity, is his switching from one idea to another. He is pretty well set on buying and selling, but exactly “what” he is still processing. One day its toys, one day food items, one day his artwork. Another factor we are working on is quality. Sometimes he only sees the profit he can make from an item and neglects to see where the excellence of his products will continue to have his customers return to buy new items from him.

In your business, what is your priority…money or customers? Do you consider whether you are offering your customers the best possible value or are you just trying to make a buck? Are you constantly switching from one idea to the other, from one scheme to another, or from one product to another? If you have settled on a product or service, how much time and effort do you devote to developing it? In the schedule of your life’s things-to-do, where does your business fit it? Are you devoting too much or too little time to it?

The future for Malcolm lies before him, but he is already establishing certain ground rules for the kind of business man he is going to be, and the kind of human being. Our businesses should reflect our passion, integrity and character, as they should become an extension of us. I hope that when Malcolm grows up and is actively involved in wheeling and dealing, he will be the accomplished man and business owner of whom I am already proud. I also hope he will remember his grandmother and his boyhood dream and cherish them both.

“When I was a child”…I acted like a child. There are many children, I’m sure we all know a few, who seem to have skipped childhood and went straight into adulthood. Their walk, talk, and actions are those of someone much older than their tender years represent. I always feel saddened by the mannerisms of a child whose childhood has been stolen either by the actions of their parents, other caregivers, peer pressure, the media or too much exposure to all of adult society.

Back in the “good old days” when I was a child, I admit that much that we should have known was held in secret by all those who believed that a child should be “seen and not heard.” We were not allowed to remain in the company of adults who were visiting, but introduced then quickly shuffled to a discreet distance away from the ensuing conversation. “Grown folks business” was not our business, and we were not privileged to interact with older adults until we were much older, even if we were young and married.

I agree that life has changed and information exchange has loosened…thank God. Because of the times we live in, the strangers who lurk around the corner, and too much exposure of the negative kind being spewed out to tender minds, there is a need to counteract with information that parents deem appropriate for their children. This need to protect yet enlighten is the premise behind the Restore Childhood Project.

The goal of the Restore Childhood Project is to support those non-profit organizations which promote play as the appropriate outlet for children, as well as help parents, other caregivers, teachers, and the media in developing and using positive messages and tools of learning.

The attached survey is an initial attempt to gather feedback on the idea of such a project. Please feel to add your comments and suggestions. Thank you.

Within us all there is still a child, and given the chance, we often welcome the opportunity to restore that child’s childhood. Regardless if some of us remember it in pain, the glimmer of what was, or could have been, is desired to be recaptured if only for a moment.

We see it in the excitement of becoming a parent for the first time. When we hold our child, we imagine ourselves as we once were…fresh and innocent. But too often, too soon, the past rears its ugly head and we fall back on past hurts and painful memories. Without having the ability or chance to properly restore our own childhood, it is our children who suffer, and time moves on.

When we become grandparents, that new joy is renewed and a second chance is given to make it right, so we dote on our grandchildren. Many grandparents even willingly, but sometimes out of necessity, take on the task of parenting again. We may be looking for another opportunity to restore our childhood through playing with and attending to our grandchildren; as well as getting the chance to be involved again in a child’s life without all the mistakes and drama experienced with our own children. 

Teachers may have the same experiences of parents and grandparents. With their education as a large component of the process, teachers may enter the classroom with a renewed vision of their own childhood.  Many, however, enter their duties with the passive attitude of only plying their trade. They are the ones that do not seem to really care about their charges, or may feel too overwhelmed to try to do more than transfer their knowledge from themselves to their students in a lackluster way. They miss the chance to restore both their own childhood and those in their care. 

The care of children may be placed under the authority of other caregivers who are productive, but the influence of fully functioning, compassionate adults is what is most needed. For it is in the strength of authority wrapped in the softness of influence that children can thrive best successfully. 

In order to promote the child’s best interest, however; we must first restore the child in ourselves. That restoration can be accomplished by entering into our past to face the demons or boogiemen hiding in the dark recesses of our minds. Another way is to bring out to play the child within more often. 

With each opportunity of returning to the imagination and activities we once enjoyed as children, we can restore childhood in our own past, and see how important it is to give future adults a chance to build and retain those same memories and feelings. 

This call to restore childhood by the reduction in exposure of adult activities and language, while promoting play for current children, is one of the most important ways to ensure a wonderful future to our entire civilization and way of life. 

Parents, teachers and all caregivers, whether involved directly or indirectly in the concerns of children, should make it their responsibility to allow all children the chance to be children.  We need entertainers, the media, religious institutions, sports figures, movie and music producers, extended family, friends and neighbors–the entire village–to help by getting involved in the process it will take to help to restore to our children the childhood they deserve. 

To find out more:

http://apps.facebook.com/causes/319211/73274512?m=e5767d02