Category — Respect

I OCCUPY POVERTY, and I’m not alone. There are millions of Americans who have been or are becoming improvised because of the greed, arrogance, corruption and lack of compassion of both our government, and people with big money and power.

As far as the upper 1% of Americans are concerned, I am a non-entity except when it comes to utilizing me as an example, a scapegoat, or a victim to cut back on entitlements and government spending. Then my fixed income suddenly becomes un-fixed and is cut down to shore up mismanaged spending.

And because there was no voice crying out about the injustice to which I am subjected, there was no one to assist me in fighting this iniquity … until now. OCCUPY WALL STREET arrived and the entire picture of my condition and that of millions around the world has changed.

Now there are faces of outrage and demanding voices to speak for those who have been silently waiting; and there are tens of thousands to represent the file folders or case numbers to which we have been relegated. There are determined human beings insistent on obtaining equity, compassion and respect.

Although I OCCUPY POVERTY, I am not, nor have I been lazy or trifling. I have worked, paid into the system, gotten an education and training, never been arrested, been a home owner, tried to become self-sufficient, did volunteer work, voted in every election, and performed my civic duties to the best of my ability. I take full responsibility for my life.

But try though I might, I like so many others, have not been able to advance from my position. Some may say that it is our own fault, and we must take responsibility for the choices we made in life, and to an extent that’s true. However, the disadvantage of one’s origin of birth, color, sexual preference, class, status, age, health, sex, or beliefs should not be a reason to punish or penalize. Our humanity should be enough to qualify for equality.

The story of the young woman who lost her job after posting a remark on Facebook about her customers brings us a great opportunity to discuss something that is running rampant in this country…bad customer service. With today’s economy being what it is, I am sorry she lost her job, but her firing brings up another point. If she was a good employee, her bosses could have taken the time to teach her a life-long lesson in etiquette and superior business practices by explaining the policy that was in place and why. Perhaps the subject never came up during her interview and probationary period and she was unaware of it. Many young people do not understand or have not been taught the same level of respect for the company and its customers that is necessary to display good work ethics or company pride as in the past.

The primary problem that exists in most business interactions today is the rudeness or complete lack of good customer service. Whether it is on the phone, or in person, workers act as if they are doing you a favor when they wait on you, rather than the other way around. If the customer did not patronize their business, the worker would not have a job. This concept does not seem to register with many clerks or service personnel. When did it become the duty of the customer to please the person behind the counter or on the other end of the phone?

Being a service person or government bureaucrat calls for being of service as one of the undefined duties and a great part of one’s responsibility. Besides, being nice will always made your day easier and more pleasant. Knowing that you can either make or break someone’s attitude or well-being just by the way you approach them, handle their affairs or respond to their needs should be a power booster and an incentive to act in a non-passive-aggressive manner.

If you do not like dealing with people, why take a job that has you interacting with other human beings on a constant basis? But just taking a job because it is available can put the company owner’s business in jeopardy, as shown by this incidence. So it is a warning to business owners to add instructions of proper social skills to their list of items to discuss during the training of their service workers. Better still, a primary question during the interview would be, “how do you get along with people?”

Lately I have been getting lots of comments calling me “man.” I guess because I’ve carried a male name, Paris, all my life I forget that people naturally assume that I am male. That’s why I though I should post my picture so that you could put the face to the name and the messages.

I am a great-grandmother of 4, grandmother of 14 and mother of 3 surviving sons and 2 daughters. I am retired, but has recently published a book for children, The First Trip, and designed the characters into rag dolls called “Oodles,” the first one to be introduced is Bubba Oodle. Writing is one of my favorite things to do, so I enjoy writing this blog and hearing from my readers.

I appreciate so much all the wonderful comments, and those slightly left of wonderful (LOL). I learn something about myself from the way that you all see me and the thoughts you share.

It is good to know that my work has played a part in the advancement, enlightenment, and encouragement of so many. I try to give my honest opinion, while being mindful of the opinions of others, and respecting the fact that we may not always agree.

Now that we’ve come to the end of another successful year, I want to wish everyone Happy Holidays and God bless. Please continue to follow my work, and to let me hear from you. Take care, Paris

When I attended school in the southern part of the U.S. during the Jim Crow days of the mid 40s and 50s, my father placed me and my siblings in Catholic school. Although he and my mother were Baptists, he felt that we could and would get a better education at the hands of the nuns, rather than attend the segregated all-black public schools.

Whether or not that was true, the difference between our school and the others was the teachers. All of our students were black, but all of our teachers were white nuns. So not only did we get an education laced with religious instructions, although prayer was still a mainstay in the public schools, our social education was given from a totally different perspective oftentimes based on the racial differences of student and teacher.

I imagine the nuns felt it was their “Christian duty” to inspire confidence in us to counter the racism we faced day-to-day. Even to some of the protocol our parents insisted we show to the whites with which we came in contact, the nuns added stipulations. We were not to say “yes,” or “no, mam” to anyone who was not as old as our grandparents, including the nuns.

The nuns’ influence made an indelible impression on me, and probably my two sisters and brother also. So much so, that our father relocated the family to California for more than financial reasons. In great part, I expect, it was to protect us from the authority we had learned to defy.

I recently heard the statistics that 75% of teachers in the U.S. are white, and the schools have been integrated since the 60s. But there is something as sinister as segregation afoot in our school system. Many of our children are struggling, particularly in the area of social skills, and there are a number of things which have attributed to this situation.

For one, the banishment of prayer and along with it the teaching of good and bad. I too believe in religious privacy, but now children learn about actions and consequences, and everyone’s rights must be respected. It seems they are getting the message that if it feels right to them then they can do it, as long as they are willing to face the consequences. Our jails and prisons are filling up with criminals, many wealthy and famous, who acted on their feelings rather than whether what they were doing was right or wrong.

It seems to go back to the teachings of the nuns that we were supposed to respect our rights regardless of how others were disrespecting us. But somewhere in there was also the lesson that others had rights too, and it was wrong if we did not respect them.

With everyone seeming to go for themselves lately, along the way we, especially our children, have become lost. It seems that a return to treating others as we want to be treated is in order, but this concept can only be learned. Whether from our caregivers’ laps or in the classroom, social skills training and empathy for others is crucial for a civilized society. We must relearn the values that contribute to an appropriate way of life, and education is the key.

Here is a great video of children learning social skills rules in class. Thanks to the students and their teachers for this effort.