Category — Maturity

My neighbor and I met in the hallway of our apartment building and exchanged hellos. He has been having some serious health issues and so have I. During our brief interlude, we laughed at how we have simply just gotten old. We have to admit it, and were amused with how we now realize why old people always seem so short tempered and in such a hurry. They, or we now, don’t have the time to dilly-dally and procrastination is a waste of time.

We also touched on how limited we are in having someone to depend on and concluded that sadly, God is the only one. Everyone else is trying to keep it together just as we are.

I admit it was very disheartening to wake up one day and discover I was old. Oh, I’m not crying in my tomato soup, I still have an active life. But, as my health issues increase and my energy decreases, I have to face the fact that I am no longer in my 20s, 30s, 40s, or 50s, and quickly slipping away from my 60s. (I will be 68 in January.) What to do; what to do!!

I find it interesting that although I know how old I am when I look in the mirror, and by the way my body feels when I struggle with things I’ve been used to doing very easily, my mind only feels full to overflowing; not old. I just know that I know a lot about a lot. There aren’t too many subjects, except those extreme intellectual ones like quantum physics and such that I either have experienced, know someone who has, or heard or read about. This mass of knowledge gives me great pleasure, especially when I get to share it.

I guess the bottom line is that getting older ain’t that bad. In fact, I accept it as my reward for all the tears, confusion, and do-over’s I’ve had to endure. I love my gray hair and wish it were gold, because I’ve entered the “golden time of day” and find it’s not too bad. I dedicate the attached video to all those golden oldies like me and all those who look forward to becoming one.

Frankie Beverly and Maze \"The Golden Time of Day\"

When we attain a certain level of maturity, it becomes easier to see the dynamics of human clashes or battles which we perhaps never noticed before. As a result, we learn to choose our battles rather than get involved in every conflict presented. In choosing our battles, we will also have a much quicker recovery time of letting things go and we are better able to respond or retract when necessary. Being immature, we usually only respond.

When there is some sort of confusion or problem, recognition of how to cooperatively proceed may require letting go of our bruised ego to achieve a safe, calm outcome. Knowing how and when to choose the battles we decide to fight can make life much less stressful and more controlled.

Indications that the situation is getting out of control, like raised voices and defensive body language, may signal the time to withdraw and exit. It may be that the scenario can or should continue without our further involvement. But if we insist on trying to explain why we are interested or try to protect our position in the matter, things could escalate into an argument, hurt feelings and a rift.

This is an example of several considerations we can go over in our mind in choosing our battles:

1. Have I overstepped my authority by saying something?
2. Am I aware or unaware of the reason(s) for the decision(s) which have been made?
3. Do I need to ask more questions before getting involved?
4. Should I just mind my own business and say nothing?
5. Although the situation used to be my concern, I am no longer involved; so the problem is not mine to try to solve.
6. I am doing or did the right thing by backing down and out.

When we learn to choose our battles and act accordingly, we can maintain the joy, peace and harmony in our lives and in the lives of others.