Category — Children

OCCUPY POVERTY (OP) joins together with Del Paso Heights residents upset with what they are calling “unfair treatment” in the predominately black, low income neighborhood in Sacramento, California. And those residents have decided to organize and fight back. The Del Paso Heights Community Association consists primarily of parents who are standing up for their security against the campus police department, and for the education of their children by the Twin Rivers Unified School District.

The impetus for this activity began when a school district police officer went off campus to make a traffic stop against Tyrone Smith. The officer and Smith engaged in a foot race and Smith was subsequently charged with shooting the officer during the chase. The officer is expected to recover from his wounds, but Smith died a short while later in police custody.

Smith’s death initiated an investigation into the jurisdictions and parameters of campus police. It was during this investigation that a tee shirt designed and sold by the Twin Rivers Police Department was discovered. The tee shirt depicts a child behind bars with the message: “You raise them. We cage them.” This obviously contemptuous message has offended and infuriated parents and spurred them into action.

Organizers of the Del Paso Heights Community Association are therefore registering voters to remove the current school board because parents are upset about the failure of their children in Twin Rivers Schools. According to data reportedly provided by Superintendent Frank Porter, it will take black children “twenty years to close the achievement gap.”

OCCUPY POVERTY stands in support of the parents and their determination to bring better safety and education to their community for the benefit of their children.

Many times in our lives, occasion to be conflicted arise. I am experiencing one of those occasions, because of some of the methods proposed to be used in the push in America to reform our school system. Test scores have shown that many of our students are failing or barely holding on, and will be unable to compete with others in the global marketplace. Many young people have given up and settled for or given in to lives of idleness, dependence on government handouts, and/or criminal activity.

Students from every ethnic group are included, but my observation is focused on low income youth, particularly black or African-American. Being black myself draws my attention, but my concern is for all children, and how to address this problem is where my conflict lies.

Education reform extends all the way to the White House with President Obama being actively involved. Along with government, many very wealthy individuals, like Bill Gates, are contributing millions of dollars. Unfortunately, with all the funds being made available, many objectionable concepts of how to provide a “quality” education for our students is being tried and promoted, especially the idea of exclusionary charter schools.

Charter schools are not a new idea, having been used by many different organizations, such as religious groups, to promote their ideology as well as educate their members. This scary culturally controlled character seems to be what is also being offered presently by private organizations in order to obtain and maintain funding.

To insure that their students display the highest achievements, certain kids with disabilities, including learning, are being excluded and expelled by some charter schools. There are also schools which intend to segregate poor, black children from other children in order to change their “culture,” meaning their ways of wearing certain hair styles and clothing, for example. These types of selective schools are the ones which are causing me the most concern and conflict.

Since the civil rights movement in the 60s, we as a nation have fought, and some have died, to allow children of all ethnicities to attend school together in an integrated environment. Yet we know that even under the best circumstances racism still flourishes. Also, rampant bullying by all groups has recently flared which has caused the suicidal death of a number of children.

These conditions of separating children by ethnicity, social status, and physical or mental ability, which will set them apart from their peers, can only cause a backlash. Low self-esteem, further acting out, withdrawal, mistrust, anger, and possibly violence, both on the part of those students displaced and seemingly rejected, as well as the development of superior attitudes by those who are allowed to attend other schools can and will result.

My conflict is in wanting a “quality” education for black children, and disabled children, but not at the expense of their cultural identity, acceptance or sense of belonging. None of us wants to feel set apart. Regardless of our differences and/or abilities, we all want the to be loved and respected for our humanity, for the life that flows through us. How can taking children back to a way which we found wrong and wanting in the past be thought to be beneficial in the present? And how will the experience of separation and rejection affect these children in the future?

Since the beginning of man‘s history, humans have struggled with division and control of one group over the other. It has always ended in tragedy, and will continue to do so. Therefore, to solve a conflict, the decision must be made for the greater good, and not the most money.

To expect a different outcome from repeating a misjudgment is insane. So, now that the occasion to change direction in educating children has presented itself, there should be no conflict of how to guarantee that all our children get the best chance at a “quality” education. I believe that open enrollment in charter schools is a viable solution, as long as we alter our ways of doing and thinking, because going back is not a forward move.

In a recent article appearing in the Sacramento Bee, dated October 10, 2010, a proposal to remove black children from traditional integrated schools and place them in segregated charter schools has been suggested. This proposal has been made by a black person, Margaret Fortune, who has operated a similar school in Sacramento.

Ms. Fortune suggests that up to 5,000 black children, who are also considered low-income, and beginning with K thru 3rd graders, would benefit from receiving an education in a school set apart from their peers of the same age. To me, this is absurd as this nation has and continues to fight long and hard to diminish and extinguish the ugliness of segregation in all of its stigmatizing forms, in all systems of our society.

To consider returning to the dysfunctional method of segregation in our system of education is not only frightful but downright bizarre. Poor, black children already suffer from two strikes against them. To put them in a situation which sets them apart will not only affect their self-esteem, but may also cause them to suffer the pain of being stigmatized for not attending an integrated school with other children who are different from them.

A great part of one’s education, particularly as access to the global community is opening up to anyone who may chose to explore it, is to be socialized to understand, tolerate and accept the differences between us. How can that be accomplished when one begins their educational experience with only faces of one’s own kind? How can one perceive a different reflection of how the world is made up if one only sees one image, the same as oneself ?

I can understand the intent of providing a more intense educational experience for children, but the effort should be open to all children, not focused on any particular ethnic group. As for the children being low-income, there are low-income children in every ethnic group who need and require a quality education. For a black person to focus this attempt to obtain funding for charter schools by selling out black children is shameful.

If tax-payer money is used to fund charter schools, representative children from every group should be represented. Placing black children in segregated schools is a backward move and should not be considered as being in the best interest of those children.

http://www.sacbee.com/2010/10/10/3093039/former-st-hope-leader-begins-push.html

For a short period of time recently, my son, his wife, 9-year old son and 10-month old daughter had to move in with me after they both lost their jobs. Although I live in a small one-bedroom apartment, there was little I could do but make room and endure. For three long months, we had to share, tolerate and continue to carry on despite the circumstances. Struggle is a nice name for it.

But the most amazing struggle I was privileged to watch was that of my granddaughter, Sasha, who was learning to walk. Although her space was limited with all the boxes of human need surrounding her, nevertheless she would pull herself up on her chubby little legs again and again.

Her need to rise out of the play saucer in which she was placed, or up off the quilts I laid down on the floor for her was impressive but also distressing. She reminded me of my tries and failures to start my own business and the changes I had been through the last 18-plus years trying to stand on my own.

As with my first offers of help, reaching out my hand to her would be welcome at times, but then again she would choose to try and make it on her own even though she knew she might fall. I thought of the first contract from which I withdrew rather than drastically change my concept, and the second contract which failed when the publisher went bankrupt.

As I had, she realized somehow that struggle was a part of the plan, but if she was going to get off her knees and stand, she had to do most of the work herself.

My little family moved on before Sasha’s first birthday and her first solo steps, but I have the same faith for her that I have for myself. One day I will receive a call from my son saying she is running around and they have to run and catch her. And one day I will call him to say that my competition is struggling to keep up with me as the sales of my books and dolls are running way ahead of them all.

Where does the labor pain go when it releases you? Is there a little pocket somewhere inside where it tucks itself away until the next time it holds you in its grip or until the doctors anesthetize you? Why is it that when it’s gone you can’t quite remember it other than that it hurt something awful?

Each time I went into labor with my six children, I waited with anticipation for the pains to begin, and longed for the occasion when I would be on my way to the delivery room. Most expectant mothers will tell you that by the time you get to the ninth month you relish the idea of your labor pains beginning, because it means that you will be able to reclaim your body from the little invader who has controlled your every waking and sleeping hours. You anticipate that finally you will be able to sleep on your back, tummy or side without a foot, elbow or knee demanding that you turn over to make “them” comfortable.

It is not, however, until the pains begin that you remember what it was like the last time when you swore to never put yourself in this position again. Rushing back to your core, the pain echoes the pressure, fear and excruciating squeeze and release of muscles left unused since the previous delivery. Like a steely Grinch, the pain carries away every smidgen of tranquility, relaxation and comfort you have been able to muster up for the big day. Replacing your excitement with only one desire…to get it out and over with as quickly as possible!

After everything is said and done and the baby is safely delivered, however, you realize what a great gift pain has given you. Staring down into the face of your newborn is one of the most fulfilling moments of your life and most satisfying. Those who have experienced it more than once can attest that wherever the pain goes, you are grateful that it resides in a place that keeps it safe, able and ready to help you deliver one of life’s greatest rewards ever.

“When I was a child”…I acted like a child. There are many children, I’m sure we all know a few, who seem to have skipped childhood and went straight into adulthood. Their walk, talk, and actions are those of someone much older than their tender years represent. I always feel saddened by the mannerisms of a child whose childhood has been stolen either by the actions of their parents, other caregivers, peer pressure, the media or too much exposure to all of adult society.

Back in the “good old days” when I was a child, I admit that much that we should have known was held in secret by all those who believed that a child should be “seen and not heard.” We were not allowed to remain in the company of adults who were visiting, but introduced then quickly shuffled to a discreet distance away from the ensuing conversation. “Grown folks business” was not our business, and we were not privileged to interact with older adults until we were much older, even if we were young and married.

I agree that life has changed and information exchange has loosened…thank God. Because of the times we live in, the strangers who lurk around the corner, and too much exposure of the negative kind being spewed out to tender minds, there is a need to counteract with information that parents deem appropriate for their children. This need to protect yet enlighten is the premise behind the Restore Childhood Project.

The goal of the Restore Childhood Project is to support those non-profit organizations which promote play as the appropriate outlet for children, as well as help parents, other caregivers, teachers, and the media in developing and using positive messages and tools of learning.

The attached survey is an initial attempt to gather feedback on the idea of such a project. Please feel to add your comments and suggestions. Thank you.

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Henry de Bracton, an English Jurist born in 1268, gave us that wise saying for whatever reason, and the truth of it has lasted since he spoke or wrote the words. In fields of medicine, manufacturing, space exploration, and many more, the practice of prevention is an important step in the process. So I ask why, if it means so much to protect products and services in so many areas, would it be ignored when it comes to the life of a child?

The death of more children is being reported in our local newspaper, The Sacramento Bee. Some children have died at the hands of their parents or caregivers, but too many have perished in the care of their supposed “protectors,” the Child Protective Services (CPS).

Admittedly, removing children from their homes is sometimes necessary, but placing them in far worse situations is unjustifiable. With all the available educated minds of doctors, counselors, lawyers, therapists, social workers, judges and others trained in the doctrine of acting in “the best interest of the child,” how is it possible that an attempt at prevention rather than restoration and preservation has eluded them for so long?

The best time to begin providing services to families is at the beginning; when a serious enough condition warrants the attention of some official concerning the welfare of a child. Another adage, “where there’s smoke there’s fire,” should be a red flag of warning. Parents whose care-taking has become questionable should be given services right away to avoid possible removal of their children or prevent further injury either at their hands or while in shelter. This intervention may also prove more effective and less costly. In addition, teaching the parents to “fish” would give the family many more long-term benefits and may cause less trauma to the child.

Until and unless CPS takes a more critical look at their current methods of handling the protection of children, the toll of death and destruction of families will continue to rise. The pound of cure is an ever increasing burden and cost that the ounce of prevention may far outweigh and out-achieve in the life and future of those children who are the most vulnerable.

Facing life’s challenges

This has been a period of great challenge for me and my family. We have been assailed by the loss of my 15^th grandchild, a boy named Austin Josiah (A.J.), born on March 24 and died on March 25. He was full term, weighed 8 lbs 13 ounces, and looked absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, he had a hernia which allowed his stomach and intestines to fill the upper left section of his body where that lung couldn’t grow; and the other lung and heart were restrained and not allowed to grow adequately enough to sustain his life. His heart gave out which caused severe brain damage, and he succumbed to his illness. He was my youngest son’s first child.

In my own situation, I have been diagnosed with a rare, estrogen-related breast cancer, and will begin treatment and surgery very soon.

In both these circumstances, as in all the circumstances I have faced in my 67 years, I have come to accept that we do not control anything. All we can do is “let go and let God.” Sometimes that is easy to do, sometime not. We all must face health, relationship, business and general life issues, and must decide with each one how we will react to them. If we are able to trust that time, faith and our ability to maintain our focus will carry us through, we can move forward with confidence and peace of mind. 

We maybe crying and hurting deep inside, but we have already been given the strength we need to survive. The grace of God and His mercy guarantees it.

Recently, I have added quite a few comments to a series of news articles in the Sacramento Bee regarding the death of a 4-year old girl in foster care here in Sacramento, CA. My purpose was two-fold. One was to add to the discussion about the dysfunction of Child Protective Services (CPS) and ask for some reform in the way they take care of children. The other was to show dysfunctional parents in child abuse that they can take responsibility for the return of their children.

 The mention of child abuse is enough to curdle your blood. But, I was a parent who loved her children and got caught up in a terrible life experience. I fought to retain my kids and I believe there can and should be some objectivity given. We are all broken in some way, and judgment without full knowledge of the situation does not lend itself to equity.

If we are to realistically know that “there but for the grace of God go I,” we can realize that life can change without notice, and we could be the one on the other side of the table. I write about my personal experiences in my autobiography, By Hope Alone: The making of a parent; The story of a mother’s journey through life, love and a child-abuse case.

If dysfunctional parents want to recover their children, they should be given that chance, along with assistance and support to do so. But so many parents do not know that they have legal and moral rights to parent their children when they get involved with CPS. In most cases the relinquishment of their parental rights occurs.

 The lack of equity can cause many parents to fail to regain their children. The public demands that CPS and parents involved in a child-abuse case make many changes before they can be trusted with the care of children. But accepting that CPS and parents are not demon forces but human beings created to make changes is often the biggest step toward finding the equity for which the situation calls.

In the Sacramento Bee, on January 24, 2010, there was a story written about a 4-1/2 year old little girl, Amariana, who died while in the “protective custody” of foster care. The story broke my heart and made me angry, as it stirred up once again my own feelings of the pain and anguish of a mother caught in the grips of CPS. 

Although my case happened in 1988 and ended in 1991, in San Francisco rather than Sacramento, the similarities of shoddy caretaking between the social services systems of the two counties are both frightening and apparently persistent. 

From the story of Amariana, both my case and her parents’ were not criminal. No one was apparently arrested according to the very thorough report written by Bee Reporter, Marjie Lundstrom. Instead, my children and Amariana and her siblings were removed due to parental dysfunction. But unlike the circumstances in my situation, Amariana’s parents’ rights were taken away and at least one of their children has been adopted by the foster mother. 

The tragedies of both cases are that lives were lost and the families were completely torn apart, never to be restored. The father of my sons suffered a fatal heart attack and died at the age of 39, while little Amariana died from a suspicious fire bombing. All too often this is the legacy of CPS, death and destruction of families. 

In addition, too frequently, the victims of CPS are members of the so-called Underclass; people who are disenfranchised, too poor or too undereducated to fight against the courts, social workers, counselors, attorneys and foster care parents who receive for one child what the parents may receive for 4 or 5 children if they’re on AFDC or welfare. 

Having gone through the system, but having regained and retained my parental rights and full custody of my children, I thank God every day to have survived the experience. For seven years after my ordeal I worked with families to help them wage their own battles against CPS and primarily stood alone as a gatekeeper crying for a shift in the focus toward child-abuse prevention rather than “restoration” or “preservation” which still entails removal of the kids.

Until and unless services are put in place to provide a means for parents to receive mandatory drug testing and treatment when necessary, parenting classes and counseling prior to removal of the children, we will continue to see stories like these. If there is evidence of physical or sexual abuse by the parents, children should be removed. But despite their “dysfunction” many parents still love their children who are often safer left in their homes. 

There are stories written about other Amariana’s who are killed by their parents, but we would suppose that stories of children who lose their lives in foster care should never have occasion to be written. 

The details of my case can soon be read in my autobiography, By Hope Alone: The making of a parent–The story of a mother’s journey through life, love, and a child-abuse case.