Category — Childhood

As experiences come into your life, you begin to recognize how one situation compares and relates to another. For example, my recent bout with the side effects of a treatment meant to improve and protect my bones from the ravages of bone cancer and osteoporosis triggered the thought of how the side effects of integration have affected the lives and lifestyle of socioeconomically disadvantaged blacks in America.

The once a month infusion treatment, or intravenous injection, was supposed to alleviate the pain and prevent further disintegration or breaking of my bones. I suffered great side effects of chills and aching the first time the drug was administered, but when the injection time was increased, those particular side effects decreased. The treatment continued month after month, but I began to notice I was having difficulty breathing.

It began with the feeling of excess fluid and a rattling breath sound. The problem impeded my ability to perform any physical activity, walking, cleaning, showering, having sex, etc. All effort was labored and distressful. My doctors ordered x-rays, scans, and echo-grams to try to find out what was causing the “pleural effusion” I was suffering; but to no avail. The situation kept getting worse.

Along with complaining, I began to do research into the side effects of the many drugs and supplements I am taking for my various ailments which include Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, anemia, breast cancer, bone cancer, osteoporosis, and kidney disease. Some of the medications mentioned difficulty in breathing, but the doctors seemed to ignore that as a cause. Since the infusion was the latest treatment, to me it became the most suspicious.

As a required precaution, prior to receiving the treatment, a blood test to see if the creatinine level in my kidneys is low is taken as the medication negatively affects the kidneys. For the past three months, my tests have come back with the level too high because the tumor in my cancerous breast erupted and caused bleeding. The loss of blood caused the kidneys to be drier, causing the creatinine level to go higher, which negated my infusion treatment. So while my body has been healing from the tumor eruption, it has also been withdrawing from the side effects of the infusion, which has allowed my breathing to return to normal. I am regaining my strength and ability to function as before. Thank God!

When I awoke this morning the correlation of experiencing side effects from a medical treatment fit into the framework of the black Underclass in America experiencing the side effects of integration.

For many blacks, successful assimilation became a reality. However, according to Bill Cosby, beloved TV father and celebrity, the “lower economic people” or black Underclass, are “knuckleheads walking around…not holding up their end.” To Mr. Cosby, the Underclass has not gotten with the program of living in an American, integrated society and their inability to appropriately function has become very obvious.

In recent statements, Mr. Cosby, has spoken on their lack of language skills, their poor parenting, their spending habits, their dress, their lifestyle, their reflection of ethnicity, even the naming of their children. We all recognize him as a very funny comedian, but what has and is happening to our people is no joke.

Integration was a wonderful concept from a basic human standpoint. All people should be allowed the freedom of their “inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” and the U.S. prides itself in that ideal. But along with the powerlessness to pursue the better things in life, there were many blacks who were unable to escape their environment even after the opportunity was presented due to a lack of money and education, or simply because they wished to remain in the comfort zone of their surroundings.

The side effects of such great change in their surroundings became most severe when nearly all of the educated, prominent, role models moved from the black neighborhoods to white suburbs and left the less fortunate behind. The ones left were forced to continue surviving as best they could without direction and the leadership and guidance that had always been available. The motivators and mentors disappeared, leaving only folks of basically the same status. So the vulnerable ethnic group developed their own ways of life and became a culture (Underclass) within a culture (black) within a culture (white or American). The culture of the black Underclass includes a language and moral code which often seems harsh and even barbaric to those from the outside.

But the resourceful group has now increased in such numbers and have gained the attention of outsiders through the widespread popularity of rap and hip hop music, clothing and hair styles, piercing and tattoos, etc. Those who are thriving with conventional lifestyles are taking notice. Particularly as another side effect of integration has been the adoption by mainstream youth of many of the Underclass habits and social standards; including the use of the “N” word.

The further side effects of the full acceptance and incorporation of the black Underclass language, dress, and customs, has made some middle- and upper-class blacks, like Mr. Cosby, criticize and denigrate them in order to try to set them apart. But it can’t be done. Just as I can’t separate my breathing from what is happening to my bones, all descendants of slaves are segments of the whole, parts of the body. It is our legacy. All we can hope for is to find ways to alleviate the side effects which are affecting us.

If Mr. Cosby really wants to help, rather than rant to his peers; he should go to people who would benefit the most from hearing what he has to say. Speak to them and I believe they will listen. He should tell them about his own side effects and challenges. As a matter of fact, the black Underclass has been waiting for someone who made it out and overcame the struggle to come back and give them some honest relief. After all, isn’t that what all those suffering from side effects really want and need?

When did the desire to open your own business begin for you? Was it a decision you made out of necessity because you needed or wanted more freedom, money or control over your finances? Or was yours a life-long desire? In considering your answers, I’d like to introduce you to someone.

His name is Malcolm, he’s 9 years old and he is one of my grandsons. Malcolm, I believe will one day be a very successful entrepreneur. How do I know that? Because even now he is constantly looking for ways to “legally” make money. He often buys items at a low price and sells them to his friends for a little more. His mind also sees a transaction in many of his day-to-day activities, and his eyes light up when he discusses new strategies he is planning.

Does Malcolm remind you of yourself as a child? Did you dream of having your own business? Did the uniqueness of your business evolve over time or was the whole thing laid out before you in its near entirety? Was it easy to write your business plan, and was it a horrible struggle to complete it? Which part was the most comfortable to write and which was the most troublesome? Did you write a business plan? Did you ask yourself questions of “why” often, and could you answer them or find the answers?

One aspect of the plan for Malcolm, and perhaps it is due to his immaturity, is his switching from one idea to another. He is pretty well set on buying and selling, but exactly “what” he is still processing. One day its toys, one day food items, one day his artwork. Another factor we are working on is quality. Sometimes he only sees the profit he can make from an item and neglects to see where the excellence of his products will continue to have his customers return to buy new items from him.

In your business, what is your priority…money or customers? Do you consider whether you are offering your customers the best possible value or are you just trying to make a buck? Are you constantly switching from one idea to the other, from one scheme to another, or from one product to another? If you have settled on a product or service, how much time and effort do you devote to developing it? In the schedule of your life’s things-to-do, where does your business fit it? Are you devoting too much or too little time to it?

The future for Malcolm lies before him, but he is already establishing certain ground rules for the kind of business man he is going to be, and the kind of human being. Our businesses should reflect our passion, integrity and character, as they should become an extension of us. I hope that when Malcolm grows up and is actively involved in wheeling and dealing, he will be the accomplished man and business owner of whom I am already proud. I also hope he will remember his grandmother and his boyhood dream and cherish them both.

“When I was a child”…I acted like a child. There are many children, I’m sure we all know a few, who seem to have skipped childhood and went straight into adulthood. Their walk, talk, and actions are those of someone much older than their tender years represent. I always feel saddened by the mannerisms of a child whose childhood has been stolen either by the actions of their parents, other caregivers, peer pressure, the media or too much exposure to all of adult society.

Back in the “good old days” when I was a child, I admit that much that we should have known was held in secret by all those who believed that a child should be “seen and not heard.” We were not allowed to remain in the company of adults who were visiting, but introduced then quickly shuffled to a discreet distance away from the ensuing conversation. “Grown folks business” was not our business, and we were not privileged to interact with older adults until we were much older, even if we were young and married.

I agree that life has changed and information exchange has loosened…thank God. Because of the times we live in, the strangers who lurk around the corner, and too much exposure of the negative kind being spewed out to tender minds, there is a need to counteract with information that parents deem appropriate for their children. This need to protect yet enlighten is the premise behind the Restore Childhood Project.

The goal of the Restore Childhood Project is to support those non-profit organizations which promote play as the appropriate outlet for children, as well as help parents, other caregivers, teachers, and the media in developing and using positive messages and tools of learning.

The attached survey is an initial attempt to gather feedback on the idea of such a project. Please feel to add your comments and suggestions. Thank you.

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Henry de Bracton, an English Jurist born in 1268, gave us that wise saying for whatever reason, and the truth of it has lasted since he spoke or wrote the words. In fields of medicine, manufacturing, space exploration, and many more, the practice of prevention is an important step in the process. So I ask why, if it means so much to protect products and services in so many areas, would it be ignored when it comes to the life of a child?

The death of more children is being reported in our local newspaper, The Sacramento Bee. Some children have died at the hands of their parents or caregivers, but too many have perished in the care of their supposed “protectors,” the Child Protective Services (CPS).

Admittedly, removing children from their homes is sometimes necessary, but placing them in far worse situations is unjustifiable. With all the available educated minds of doctors, counselors, lawyers, therapists, social workers, judges and others trained in the doctrine of acting in “the best interest of the child,” how is it possible that an attempt at prevention rather than restoration and preservation has eluded them for so long?

The best time to begin providing services to families is at the beginning; when a serious enough condition warrants the attention of some official concerning the welfare of a child. Another adage, “where there’s smoke there’s fire,” should be a red flag of warning. Parents whose care-taking has become questionable should be given services right away to avoid possible removal of their children or prevent further injury either at their hands or while in shelter. This intervention may also prove more effective and less costly. In addition, teaching the parents to “fish” would give the family many more long-term benefits and may cause less trauma to the child.

Until and unless CPS takes a more critical look at their current methods of handling the protection of children, the toll of death and destruction of families will continue to rise. The pound of cure is an ever increasing burden and cost that the ounce of prevention may far outweigh and out-achieve in the life and future of those children who are the most vulnerable.

It’s Sunday morning. I hear many voices  and step out onto my patio to see hundreds of marchers coming from the Capitol building up the street. I live in Sacramento, the capitol city of California. The marchers are wearing colorful tees emblazoned with captions and names…Ed and Sue, etc. They are marching to raise money for cancer research. Having recently been diagnosed with breast and bone cancer, their symbolic walking for a hopeful cure took my mind back, as I have a tendency to do lately, to other Sundays before all this.  

I was born in 1943 in Shreveport, Louisiana and Sundays were always days buzzing with activity. We lived in a small “shotgun” house. Its three rooms lined up one behind the other. Mama and Daddy slept in the front room. 

Mama was always the first to arise. She would pass through our room, my two sisters’ and mine, hastily putting on her apron headed to the kitchen, where brother slept, to start the coffee. Soon the strong aroma and Mama’s persistent urgings would pull us from our beds, wiping sleep from our eyes. 

Without indoor plumbing, running hot water, or the privacy and convenience of a bathroom, we were nevertheless soon washed, combed and dressed. Breakfast  was served and eaten, and Daddy’s putting on his hat was  the signal to proceed from the comfort of our home to walk the several blocks to Shiloh Baptist Church to hear Rev. James bring the sermon. 

With a smile, my mind returns to my patio and I think how so long ago that was, and how everything is so much different today. Mama and Daddy are long gone, and my siblings are grandparents and I’m a great-grandparent. When we talk on the phone, because now we live distances apart, we discuss our health issues mostly. But sometimes we go back into the vaults of our memories and take out a precious event like my Sunday morning remembrance and share a laugh or two. As we remember it, despite our circumstances, life was good then; and even with all the changes, we end up agreeing that life is also still pretty good now.

Within us all there is still a child, and given the chance, we often welcome the opportunity to restore that child’s childhood. Regardless if some of us remember it in pain, the glimmer of what was, or could have been, is desired to be recaptured if only for a moment.

We see it in the excitement of becoming a parent for the first time. When we hold our child, we imagine ourselves as we once were…fresh and innocent. But too often, too soon, the past rears its ugly head and we fall back on past hurts and painful memories. Without having the ability or chance to properly restore our own childhood, it is our children who suffer, and time moves on.

When we become grandparents, that new joy is renewed and a second chance is given to make it right, so we dote on our grandchildren. Many grandparents even willingly, but sometimes out of necessity, take on the task of parenting again. We may be looking for another opportunity to restore our childhood through playing with and attending to our grandchildren; as well as getting the chance to be involved again in a child’s life without all the mistakes and drama experienced with our own children. 

Teachers may have the same experiences of parents and grandparents. With their education as a large component of the process, teachers may enter the classroom with a renewed vision of their own childhood.  Many, however, enter their duties with the passive attitude of only plying their trade. They are the ones that do not seem to really care about their charges, or may feel too overwhelmed to try to do more than transfer their knowledge from themselves to their students in a lackluster way. They miss the chance to restore both their own childhood and those in their care. 

The care of children may be placed under the authority of other caregivers who are productive, but the influence of fully functioning, compassionate adults is what is most needed. For it is in the strength of authority wrapped in the softness of influence that children can thrive best successfully. 

In order to promote the child’s best interest, however; we must first restore the child in ourselves. That restoration can be accomplished by entering into our past to face the demons or boogiemen hiding in the dark recesses of our minds. Another way is to bring out to play the child within more often. 

With each opportunity of returning to the imagination and activities we once enjoyed as children, we can restore childhood in our own past, and see how important it is to give future adults a chance to build and retain those same memories and feelings. 

This call to restore childhood by the reduction in exposure of adult activities and language, while promoting play for current children, is one of the most important ways to ensure a wonderful future to our entire civilization and way of life. 

Parents, teachers and all caregivers, whether involved directly or indirectly in the concerns of children, should make it their responsibility to allow all children the chance to be children.  We need entertainers, the media, religious institutions, sports figures, movie and music producers, extended family, friends and neighbors–the entire village–to help by getting involved in the process it will take to help to restore to our children the childhood they deserve. 

To find out more:

http://apps.facebook.com/causes/319211/73274512?m=e5767d02