Category — “Buzz”

There are certain strengths or abilities that human beings possess. The most well-known or discussed is the power of love. But recently we are seeing the negative results of another power that is becoming more infamous in everyday life. That power is influence.

Influence is the ability to manipulate another person or persons into doing or carrying out one’s desires. These desires may be positive or negative. For example, you may want someone to attend an event with you, so you provide the tickets and transportation. Or, in the case of negative exploitations, someone may carry out violence at the suggestion of another person whom they may recognize as an authority figure; or they will do something to get the attention of someone whom they perceive as being stronger or more powerful than themselves.

Unfortunately, incidences of violence from school yard bullying to political assassinations are growing in number, and many people are falling under the power of influence. This relinquishing of one’s will may cause them to also become a victim of the circumstances themselves. Too often the bully or victimizer has low self-esteem or could be suffering from some kind of emotional or mental defect.

The power of influence is used, however, by all of us against each other in order to have our way or to get the things we want; i.e. wives to husbands, and vice versa; children to parents, and vice versa; friends to each other; employees to employers, and vice versa; governments to other governments; and on and on. In one of my previous blogs, “Choose your battles,“ I enumerated several ways we can avoid becoming embroiled in conflicts by restraining our desire, or influence, to have authority or control in the situation.

We are constantly in battles of trying to influence our way through life; most often with little negative effect. But when influence is used to carry out schemes causing harm to another, should the person wielding the influence be held as accountable as the perpetrator? By recognizing that the power of influence is at work in our day-to-day interactions, we may be able to consider our motives first  before we try to get someone to do what we want. This self-examination will reduce our responsibility for injury or harm to another. Connecting compassion to the power of influence is a fundamental way.

What happens to a person to make them become intolerant? The question is asked because I refuse to believe that people are born with hatred for others just based on their race, their beliefs, or their preferences. History has shown that when children are placed in homes different from those of their birth parents, they can take on the characteristics of their caretakers or substitute parents. If not being born closed-minded is the case, then how is it that people can become prejudiced or bigoted unless they choose to be; are strongly influenced by others; or taught to be so by those who are bringing them up?

From personal experience, I am aware of different races being more than passing associates or even friends, and different religious devotees to have created loving families. These individuals may have come from homes that stressed the difference between races or religions, however the individual who adopted themselves into families different from their own were able to assimilate or accommodate and incorporate the ideals and beliefs of the adopted family. The fact of these familial blendings are further contradictions of the idea that people are born intolerant.

That being the case, why do people instill prejudice into children? What are the benefits of thinking and acting on the belief that people are totally different than you because of the color of their skin, the way in which they worship or not, or who they choose to love? Admittedly, there are differences in the way that different groups see and relate to the world. Could culture or their appearance, the manner in which they speak or dress or the texture or style of their hair or who they choose as a neighbor or friend bring about hatred so vile as to want to annihilate them from the face of the earth?

We have seen bigotry perpetrated by groups against other groups who share common characteristics such as color and lifestyles, but who seemingly hate each other. Men commit centuries old atrocities against women in the name of superstitions and religions. Sexual preferences have been the source of acts leading to murder, rape and other crimes. Color, status, language, religion, all have been used to separate, reject and destroy the spirits of men by other men.

My question is “why?” Can the need to have authority over others be strong enough to kill a single person or whole populations to satisfy a personal intolerance? Whole nations of people who were once rational human beings have turned into monsters of destruction killing and maiming entire ethnic groups including their children, and sometimes even their animals in the name of their personal philosophy. Again I ask “why?”

Knowing that each of us has a limited time here on Earth, couldn’t we best spend it motivating, inspiring and uplifting each other? As we go through destroying life, who is to say what essential breakthrough or discovery that one could have made for the benefit of so many more? Everyone comes here for a purpose; even those with intolerant minds. But why teach or choose bigotry as the reason to be?

For the last four or five years I’ve been writing blogs and doing social networking and have joined or connected to over 300 internet groups. When I Google my name, I’m surprised at the things that pop up and am amazed at how far my name and messages have reached. This is not to thump my own chest, rather to set the stage for something which never ceases to amaze me. I wonder and am surprised when others comment on how strong they consider me to be.

My readers’ perceptions make me wonder to what exactly is that strength attributed? Is it the time I’ve spent at the keyboard pecking away; or it is starting, deleting, uploading and downloading pictures and videos? Is it using the Thesaurus to express the same words in different ways to vary my content; or is it reading and re-reading, checking the spell-checked text to be sure I’ve caught all the errors? Is it arranging, rearranging, placing and displacing sentences, clauses, phrases, titles, paragraphs, punctuation marks, or whole topics?

Is it the subject matter I write about; the opinions I confer, the arguments in which I take a determined stand, or the information about my experiences I choose to share? Or could it be my resolve to write even when I wonder if what I am saying is making a difference?

I have come to accept that my being strong is not a power that I particularly possess. But my strength comes from the perception of my readers. If those who read my articles can derive some measure of understanding, enlightenment and inspiration, I believe they are made stronger. Their strength is then reflected back to me in encouraging comments they send which in turn makes me stronger.

Without receiving responses, the posts I write are merely me consuming time and effort. Instead they have become more than expressions of my point of view and a sharing of my life’s journey. Our ongoing communications have become a source of reciprocal strength, and I wish to thank all of my readers for making me strong.

In a series of articles I have written for this blog, I focused on the intolerance perpetrated by U.S. blacks toward other U.S. blacks. But the subject of this article has gone around in my mind like bits of fabric loosely sewn together with threads of memory and heartache. So rather than continue my own tirade regarding black intolerance, I decided to flip the script and discuss another valid point. Instead of focusing on the pieces, why not reflect on the whole?

Research for this project contained a patchwork of discussions with peers, reading material provided by “experts” and statistics about the supposed division of black people which serve to stir up much debate. Controversy has produced a tattered remnant with uneven edges and puckered seams; an unattractive and uncomfortable quilt whose rhetorical shape does not resemble the blanket which enfolds us all. They do not speak the language of truth that despite our differences we are all black, therefore, we are one.

First, to those who are not black descendants of slave forefathers, or might not have been born in the U.S., I believe I can unequivocally say that there are few blacks in America who are not proud to be black. Whether we are accused of “acting white,“ dye our hair blond, talk “proper” or only date members of other ethnic groups, we love, and are proud of being black.

Second, we recognize each other for the special-ness that we share.  After slavery was abolished in the 1860s, we formed intact communities and lived among those like ourselves. Because of segregation and Jim Crow laws, we were generally separated from white Americans because of  the color of our skin.

The civil rights movement of the 1960s brought the illegality of our separateness to the forefront of the world’s attention, and new laws allowed for desegregation and integration. For many, the opportunity to relocate allowed more urbane blacks who could afford it to move beyond our communities into new neighborhoods. So, we were again separated except it was from our own people due to differences in economics, education and social skills. That separation marked the beginning of the situation we find ourselves in today.

Prior to the 1960, there were variations in education and economic classes among blacks, the same as in other groups. But the one thing that most of Americans, black and white, had in common was their social skills. We all knew “please,” “thank you,” “sir,” and “’mam.” Direction, support and aptitude were the most determining factors as into which class blacks would fall.

As the years have gone by and the populations of both those who left and those who remained behind have grown, the inequality between the two has come more forcefully to the attention of those who made it out. They are looking back, seeing their brothers and sisters lagging behind, and wondering what to do about it.

The success of many who have risen from the ranks has shown such outstanding achievement, the question of why we all have not made it has come to the forefront of discussion. I believe the reason is that there is not enough directional and economic resources available, and not for a lack of inspiration, imagination or ingenuity. There are many local people making and plying goods and services, some legitimate, some not.

The crux of this problem has been how we can focus assistance on blacks without appearing bias toward other groups, as there is a definite desire to help. We see it in the flourish of entertainers and others aiding blacks in African nations rather than at home, because it was viewed as the job of government or churches to provide for the needs of lower income Americans, and those entitlements and charities continue to some extent.

However, in the present economy, black culture needs are not being addressed because items that had a slight resemblance to ridicule or stereotyping was made “politically incorrect” in 1965. That ban on such items, even those created by blacks,  has attributed to their being shunning by other blacks. So the need to support each other has created a microcosm of human to human assistance that is existing to the extreme in the macrocosm of need in the world.

As before, blacks helping their neighbors on the other side of town would serve as an example to the world of raising up a culture from its lower status. The opportunities are plentiful as there are many black artists, writers, inventors and designers, dreamers of great dreams, who could use financial backing, direction and support. To be able to move their products and services to the mainstream would allow them to return the favor and help those organizations struggling to educate, feed and clothe others. The trend could continue until the majority of, not only blacks, but all Americans are achieving on the level of which we are capable.

There are many who are capable and desiring to move beyond their undeveloped state to be able to realize the American dream. But without help, their dreams will not be realized. Recognizing that we are one, our blackness should serve as the cover big enough to enfold our discomfort and discontent, as we bind the edges with the distinctive fabrics that represent our unique and varied features.

No longer do we have to hand stitch our identity with the tattered rags and scraps left over from cloaks of servitude and slavery, or sew them together with worn and tired fingers blistered from the drudgery of picking cotton. Now we can construct a quality cover sewn with the finest needles and thread on a marvelous machine stitched by the efforts of the hearts of brotherhood.

It is time for black people to wrap ourselves warmly in the mantle of our blackness, proudly edged with the many colors of our attitudes, quality of our souls and feel of our culture. As James Brown penned so long ago and we heartily sang to help us survive the hostilities of the civil rights movement, we should pick up the song again and sing with spirit and dignity, “I’m black and I’m proud.”

I am proud to be me, proud that as a people we have overcome tremendous odds and prospered and proud that we can finally come to terms with the truth that has always existed from arrival in this country. We were brought here with one identity…we were black. That identity still exists today. We are an American group among many American groups, and in both cases, there’s no disputing the  fact that we are one.

Song by Frankie Beverly and Maze.

Watching the movie, “Dreamgirls,” one of the messages struck me very strongly. To paraphrase, it was “having all the privileges, without taking responsibility.” It made me wonder if that’s the way most people who have “privilege” think life is supposed to go. We see it all the time in celebrities and leaders who are in the news and on magazine shelves living lives seemingly without responsibility.

These are people we think should know better because we look up to them with admiration and respect and follow their every act with absorbed curiosity. Their lifestyles, however, are often less self-controlled than our own. Their names are constantly connected to illicit affairs, the break-up of marriages and families, drugs, alcohol, rehab centers, jail or prison, suicides, overdoses, embezzlements, etc., etc.

There are millions of people not in the limelight, however, who trudge to their jobs and businesses everyday and keep the homes fires burning. Those who are being responsible, but are generally ignored and unappreciated should have a holiday declared in their honor called “The Salt of the Earth Day.” This special day should be dedicated to all who are paying dues but not making news.

All those moms and dads and single parents struggling to make homes for their children; those teachers whose patience is stretched beyond the limit; the government workers with demanding clients; the clean-up and maintenance crews everywhere; small business owners trying to serve their customers; doctors, nurses, pastors, counselors, lawyers, firemen, and police officers, who are dedicated in their missions; the writers, athletes and entertainers who give their all for their audiences; and all the rest who do their best on a daily basis.

I believe the ones who take their responsibilities seriously are the “Salt of the Earth,” and whether or not they get recognition may not be their main concern, but they earn and deserve the right to be included among the privileged.

The Salt of the Earth